


In dreams... weird political dreams

by PoemsUrCool



Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Fantasy, Humor, Other, Our Cartoon President - Freeform, Parody, Politicians, Politics, Satire, Showtime, Weird, dream - Freeform, dream walking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoemsUrCool/pseuds/PoemsUrCool
Summary: Joe Biden inexplicably gains the ability to walk into other people's dreams. It's quite a mystery how this happened! Anyway, he's having fun.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> well here is a weird poorly written story

Chapter 1: In Bernie’s dream

[Joe wanders into Bernie's dream.]

[Bernie was sitting in a large white room, which seemed almost infinite. He was sitting on a cushioned stool, drinking tea and reading a newspaper. Joe looked around while walking toward him.] 

Joe Biden: Hey, Bernie! What a boring dream you have here! Where is anything, anyway?

[Bernie spits out his tea.]

Bernie Sanders: Joe?! What are you doing here? In my dream? Wait, how are you here?! 

[Joe opens his mouth to answer.]

Bernie Sanders: [shakes his head] Wait, I don’t even care! Just get out of here!

Joe Biden: Oh. Ok!

[Joe skips away into the infinite void.]


	2. Chapter 2: In Kamala’s dream

Chapter 2: In Kamala’s dream

Kamala’s dream was more interesting than Bernie’s, at least. She and Mike Pence were engaged in an arm-wrestling competition. She seemed to be winning, of course. The score-board on the wall was Kamala: 849 Mike Pence: -1. (don’t ask me how he got into the negative numbers XD)

It is at this moment that Joe walks in from the void.

Joe Biden: Hey, Kamala! [he waves his arms] Hey, hey, hi, hi!

[Kamala is shocked and turns to look at Joe.]

Kamala Harris: Joe?! How are you here? I’m in the middle of something!

Joe Biden: Yeah, you’re wrestling that wimpy Mike Pence guy. He’s not doing so hot, is he?

While Kamala is distracted, Mike sees an opportunity and pins her arm to the table. 

His score changes to Mike Pence: 0

Mike Pence: I won? I win! I got one! Oh, boy!

Kamala turns to glare at Mike.

Kamala Harris: You got ONE. You got ONE, buddy. Don’t pat yourself on the back just yet.

[Mike frowns a big frown.]

[Kamala turns to Joe.]

Kamala Harris: Joe, I don’t know how you got into my dream, but you should leave. Right now. Because you ruined my perfect score.

Joe Biden: Well, it didn’t-

Mike Pence: [nervously] Yeah, you probably should leave…

[Kamala turns to glare at Mike again.]

Joe Biden: Ok… I’m gonna go invade somebody else’s dream now. Sorry about ruining your perfect score, Kamala! 

[Joe runs back into the void.]

Kamala Harris: Alright Mikey, [holds out her arm] where were we?

[Mike Pence gulps nervously.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> arm wrestling competition, heh
> 
> chapter 3 coming soon


	3. Chapter 3: In Elizabeth's Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a nerd dream :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hm.

Chapter 3:

In Elizabeth’s dream

Joe is walking through the void. You may be surprised to know that he hasn’t at all questioned his ability to go into people’s dreams yet. But that’s Joe for ya :)

The void fades into a wooden library setting. The color scheme is red, and the place has a nice rustic charm to it. Not to mention, it’s HUGE, almost infinite.

Joe Biden: A library? Well that’s hardly fun. This is kinda boring to me. Um… that’s not to say that I don’t like books, or reading, or learning, but the thought of sitting in one place for a long time doesn’t sound that great. And, who the hell am I talking to?

Unknown Female Voice: Shush! Please keep it down back there.

Joe Biden: Alrighty, alrighty.

[Joe walks toward the voice. He is not that surprised to see Elizabeth Warren reading a shit-ton of books at a table.]

Joe Biden: Wow Lizzie! [Elizabeth jumps at his voice] I knew you were a nerd, but THIS, THIS is insane. 

[Elizabeth turns to him.]

Joe Biden: [continuing] You’re seriously having a dream about reading BOOKS?! You can be dreaming about anything! [He waves his arms, then pauses] Well, to be fair, Bernie’s dream had him just reading one newspaper. And he didn’t even have a setting, he was just sitting in a void-

Elizabeth Warren: Joe, please, stop. Are you telling me that I’m not the only person who’s dream you’ve crashed?

[Joe climbs on a bookshelf and begins jumping from shelf to shelf, almost falling sometimes.]

Joe Biden: [slightly distracted] Um… no? Yes? What’s the right answer here?

Elizabeth Warren: [puts her head in her hand] Oh sweet Jesus. [looks at Joe] Alright, Joe. [pats the seat next to her] Let’s sit and talk this out, ok?

[Joe jumps down (more like falls) from a shelf. He sits down next to Lizzie and tilts his head slightly. He does this when he is about to listen real good.]

Elizabeth Warren: Alright Joe. You’re walking through people’s dreams. Has this happened to you before?

Joe Biden: Not that I’m aware of, no. [suddenly remembering something] BUT!! *Do you remember when me, you, Kamala, that tall guy, Booky, Chipmunk, Bernie, and Charizard all had those 2 dreams at the same exact time?* That was wild and freaky-

Elizabeth Warren: I do remember that, Joe. Honestly, I’m still trying to figure that one out. Let’s focus on one topic, ok? 

Joe Biden: [grumpy] Ok.

Elizabeth Warren: I don’t think you should walk through people’s dreams anymore Joe.  
Joe Biden: What? Why not??

Elizabeth Warren: Well, to be frank, because you’re insane. And I don’t think you should infect other people’s minds with your insanity.

[pause]

Joe Biden: Heh. That’s fair. I guess. I GUESS. I guess? I guess I’ll just head out, then.

[Joe awkwardly gets up and looks for an exit in the void. Elizabeth watches him wander around for a bit, before sighing and getting up to help him.]

[Joe walks out]

Elizabeth Warren: And don’t mess with other people’s dreams, do you hear me Joe?

Joe Biden: Sure, sure, whatever you say, mom! [he shakes his head]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mh.


	4. Chapter 4: In Pete's Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the prodigal son has returned

In Pete’s dream

Joe continued to wander around the void. He had thought about what Lizzie said… for about 2 seconds, of course. 

He began to hum a tune he heard from a weird cartoon out of boredom.

**Joe Biden:** [humming]  _ “All I wanna do, is see you turn into, a giant woman…”  _ [Giggles] That’s weird! 

Eventually he fades into another dream. The background changes to a dark green. Now he’s in an auditorium of some sort. The people had no real detail, it was similar to what you would see in a cartoon, with there just being blobs with eyeballs.

Joe looks to the brightly lit stage, and there he saw his weird friend Pete Buttigeig. Whatever he was talking about must’ve been really good, because he seemed pretty happy about it. (Or maybe he was just happy to have the attention?)

**Joe Biden:** [waving] HEY! HEY, Petey! HEY! HEY!

Pete looked up and noticed his weird friend.

**Pete Buttigieg:** Oh! Well, look who it is! How did you get in here anyway? They didn’t give you any trouble at the door, did they?

**Joe Biden:** [with a huge grin on his face] I walked through the walls!

**Pete Buttigeig:** [chuckles] Of course you did.

(There was no hint of sarcasm in that statement. But he didn’t exactly believe him either. It's funnier to humor him.)

**Joe Biden:** Sorry I ruined your ego trip, or whatever this dream is.

**Pete Buttigeig:** [a hint of disappointment] Oh… that’s ok buddy.

**Joe Biden:** [without skipping a motherfuckin beat] Wanna get some ice cream?

Pete smiled his cute smile (it looked something like this  **:3** ).

**Pete Buttigieg:** I’m sorry, but I can’t right now. Also, this is a dream, so it’s not like the ice cream will taste real.

Joe bowed his head in extreme sadness.

**Joe Biden:** [very sadly] Oooh, you’re right :(.

**Pete Buttigieg:** So Joe, do you mind telling me how you gained the power to go through people’s dreams?

**Joe Biden:** Eeh, why do you wanna know?

**Pete Buttigieg:** [a hint of ill intent] Oh, you know… research purposes.

**Joe Biden:** Well then, I have no idea! Isn’t that funny? But Liz Warren told me I should stop doing it. I didn’t listen to her, cause, you know, NERD.

**Pete Buttigieg:** And she’s  _ absolutely  _ right! But maybe if I follow you, I might be able to go figure out how you’re doing this?

**Joe Biden:** Why would you wanna do tha-

**Pete Buttigieg:** [interrupting] It’s for research purposes.

(In reality, Pete was thinking about the * time Joe betrayed him after he told him his secret. He was hoping for some slight revenge.)

Joe started to since the ill intent from his friend. Maybe it had something to do with the way Pete kept tapping his fingers together like a cartoon villain.)

**Joe Biden:** Actually buckaroo, I’d better not. Could get a bit weird and confusing, having more than one person goin’ through dreams!

Then Joe started running.

**Pete Buttigieg:** [calling out to him] Well, if you ever change your mind! I’ll be here. Waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the prodigal son is still there  
> * A reference to the episode Election Security

**Author's Note:**

> there you go


End file.
